Sorry Son, We Don't Live in Alabama...

Gabe: Mom, did you tell your Mommy that you wanted to be a mommy when you growed up when you were little?

Me: Yes. I guess I always wanted to be a mommy. Why?

Gabe: I want to be a Daddy someday too.

Me: Well, I think you'll be a great Daddy someday.

Gabe: I want to marry Zoe. She'll be a nice Mommy.

Me: You can't marry Zoe because she is your sister

Gabe: But I really like Zoe and I'd miss her if she wasn't near me.

Me: Welp, it's illegal. Sorry kiddo. Maybe you can be neighbors.

Gabe: Nope, I'm going to marry her. Just wait and see.

Me: OK.... I'll see how you feel about that when you're 12.

God and Guns

*DISCLAIMER: Some or all parts of this post may be theologically incorrect for comical purposes.


Gabe: "Mom, does God have a gun?"

Me: "Nope, God doesn't need a gun."

Gabe: "Well then what is He going to kill Satan with?"

Me: "He is going to smite him."

Gabe: "What does smite mean?"

Me: "It means he's going to blow him up into a fiery ball of smoke till there's nothing left."

Gabe: *sounding concerned* "But then I might die too!!"

Me: "Why would you die?"

Gabe: "Because God lives in my heart and when he smites him it might make my heart explode."



On a slightly unrelated note.... while searching for a picture to post with this blog, I did a google image search for "God smiting Satan" and the first picture to pop up was of Bill O'Reilly, which just made me giggle.