Sorry Son, We Don't Live in Alabama...

Gabe: Mom, did you tell your Mommy that you wanted to be a mommy when you growed up when you were little?

Me: Yes. I guess I always wanted to be a mommy. Why?

Gabe: I want to be a Daddy someday too.

Me: Well, I think you'll be a great Daddy someday.

Gabe: I want to marry Zoe. She'll be a nice Mommy.

Me: You can't marry Zoe because she is your sister

Gabe: But I really like Zoe and I'd miss her if she wasn't near me.

Me: Welp, it's illegal. Sorry kiddo. Maybe you can be neighbors.

Gabe: Nope, I'm going to marry her. Just wait and see.

Me: OK.... I'll see how you feel about that when you're 12.

God and Guns

*DISCLAIMER: Some or all parts of this post may be theologically incorrect for comical purposes.


Gabe: "Mom, does God have a gun?"

Me: "Nope, God doesn't need a gun."

Gabe: "Well then what is He going to kill Satan with?"

Me: "He is going to smite him."

Gabe: "What does smite mean?"

Me: "It means he's going to blow him up into a fiery ball of smoke till there's nothing left."

Gabe: *sounding concerned* "But then I might die too!!"

Me: "Why would you die?"

Gabe: "Because God lives in my heart and when he smites him it might make my heart explode."



On a slightly unrelated note.... while searching for a picture to post with this blog, I did a google image search for "God smiting Satan" and the first picture to pop up was of Bill O'Reilly, which just made me giggle.

Dear God....

Gabe and Zoe now share a room in our new house, and so far it is working out very well. =) Last night we laid in the beds and said our prayers out loud and Gabe said, "I wanna pray!!!"

It started out as usual, "Thanks God for Nana and Poppy and Mommy and Daddy and the whole wide world..." and then it got REALLY GOOOD. "... and God?? Please come down into Daddy's heart and tell Him to let me play 'Call of Duty' on the PS3!!!"

I replied that God would NOT be telling Daddy that, between bits of uncontrollable laughter. =)

Just When You Thought He'd Done It All....

He cuts his eyebrows off. Yup. Inevitable for most kids I guess.... lashes, eyebrow, hair, sibling's hair.... tonight he found my manicure scissors in the bathroom and chopped off a couple good chunks of his eyebrows.

After the laughter ceased; Because there was no stopping that, with the ridiculousness of what he looked like, there was disciplining.

*sigh*

Super Diabetes!

Tonight I made a Blueberry Pineapple cobbler that is NOT diabetes friendly! It's for the Memorial Day party we are attending tomorrow. Gabe helped me whip it up and as we were sprinkling the final 1/4 cup of sugar on the top he said, "Mom, if you ate this you'd get SUPER DIABETES!"

Who's Smarter: Mom or Dad?

Tonight Justin was helping me unload the mega amount of groceries I got at Publix and he started picking on me for bringing home more dog treats. (We have like 10 boxes of dog treats) I tried to explain to him that they were on sale buy one get one free and I had 2 $2.50 off coupons that gave me almost $1.70 in overage which then took money off the rest of my grocery bill. But he just didn't get it... so I told him to leave me alone and I'd find people who would like free dog treats.

Gabe walked into the kitchen and just stared at us, wide eyed... waiting for us to finish our quarrel I guess....

I smiled at him and said,

"Gabe, who's smarter... Mommy or Daddy?"

Gabe rested his chin on his fist as if he were thinking for about 2 seconds and said....

"Ummm..... God."

Classic.

The 4 Year Old Theologian

Gabriel absolutely made my jaw drop today. He's asked me some pretty cool questions before like "Where is Heaven?" but this was even better. Here's our conversation on the way to school.

Gabe: "Mom... did you see that cross on the road?"

Me: "Nope"

Gabe: "Mom, Jesus died on the cross. They put the nails in his hands and he died and three days later he rose from the dead and then it was Easter!"

Me: "That's right buddy!!"

Gabe: "But Mom.... where was Jesus when he was dead?"

Me: "They put his body in a tomb, remember? They rolled the big rock over it to seal it? And then the angel rolled it away and...."

Gabe: "No, no... I know his BODY was in the tomb, but where was his SOUL?"

Me: *jaw falls to floor, I may have swerved off the road a little bit from shock* "Umm Gabe, can you tell me what a soul is?"

I couldn't quite get him to answer this questions. He did tell me he learned the word "soul" at church... whether that church is his pre school or our children's dept at church is still unclear, but I can't remember ever having a conversation about "souls" with Gabe yet.....

Me: "Well, your "soul" is the part of you that makes You... YOU! It's the part of you that feels happy or sad, makes choices, loves, laughs.... is that what you mean?"

Gabe: "YES. WHERE. WAS. HE?"

Me: *trying desperately to think of how to explain Jesus going to hell to break us free of the "Old Covenent" and fulfill the 'New Covenant in 4 year old terms* "Jesus went to hell to see Satan and they got in a big fat fight and Jesus won BIG TIME. And because he won, our souls get to go to Heaven now when we die!"

This seemed to satisfy Gabe. He responded...

Gabe: "Okay. That's good."

I love my son.